Dear Samuel,

A letter to my Sammy....

Dear Samuel,

Today was one of the most challenging days for me as a mother and I am sure that does not come to a surprise to you. Over the past month I have really tried to change my approach and parenting to with you because I know that you need me to go about things differently with you. I have take the time to explain anything and everything to you, made sure to give you plenty of mommy time, included you in household chores that you like to do even if washing the counter off now takes 15 minutes instead of 2, and made sure that we have been outside running around even if it meant I had to reapply sunblock for the 5th or 6th time that day! All of these changes and attention to detail don't seem to matter and you are still challenging me constantly. I know you are two years old and want to explore and ask why but why the HELL do you need to constantly hit, punch, pinch, bit, or kick people especially Elijah and I all we do is love you!

I want to say I am sorry for today for yelling, not being nice, and not being a better mom. There is no reason to yell at a two year old it is never going to make it better & I know you don't even hear what I am saying when I do yell. I watched and listened to you struggle to go to sleep tonight and I sat there wondering why if I was so mean to him today does he still want me to be near him & I the answer made me cry my eyes out for the last five hours & it is because I am your mommy and you love me no matter what. Tomorrow is going to be a better day I know because I am going to make it that way. Please know that if one day you are sitting on a therapists coach talking about if your mom loves you know that I do & I would do anything for my middle man but please oh please just stop being so physical!!!!

Sammy I love you,

Mommy